Had a bad Day......

        So do you ever have bad days?? I do! In fact I just did! I have been battling this little cold ( I say little because I am not sick enough to stay home...but not well enough that I am much use out of the house!!! I'm a mess!)

           Ok, so back to my bad day! It wasn't that the whole day was bad, as a matter of fact it had started out rather good. Church was great, I thought Tom did a fantastic job teaching Sunday morning! It was also a great time of fellowship, people stuck around until after 12:30 & I had a great conversation with the "other mother in-law"!! Joel's mother in-law, whom I love & have a deep respect for!!! She is a fantastic woman of Faith! 

So with that said, it started out great. Went home ate some lunch chatted with Tom, took a nap, youth group at 3:30! Doesn't it all sound great!!!??

During youth group we played a game, somewhat like duck duck goose, but with a pool noodle!! Fun, but it does require running.....aannnnnnddddddd while running would never have been one of my loves, it more than ever is something I dread. You see after my attack of transverse myelitis http://www.ninds.nih.gov/disorders/transversemyelitis/detail_transversemyelitis.htm 

running is a problem. Most times my limitations don't bother me, and very few people would even notice that I even have limitations, and I realize that compared to some my limitations are really minimal. But they are mine, and sometimes I really, really tire of them & have a big fat pity party. Last night was one of them.

          I get tired of feeling like I have a rubber band holding my knees together, that is the only way to describe how it feels, I don't walk like they are tied together(thankfully!) But it feels like it! I also get tired of numb fingers, I get tired of feeling like I have to hide my wobble, since my legs feel funny I often sort of totter...?( is that even a word??!) when walking around, I have to watch the ground very carefully when walking, & when I have to walk someplace that is narrow...dear Lord...my brain has to yell at my legs to do this, they do not get the message!!!

So I try HARD to walk straight...my family calls me "teeter totter"! We laugh. I mean really what else can one do? It's how it is, it's what it is..."in sickness and in health" yes???

All in all it isn't so bad, when I step back and look at the big picture. I know it could be worse, waaaaay worse. But it isn't, and most days I am thankful. Very thankful.

So why am I blabbering about this? I guess to say, having a bad day, throwing a pity party isn't the end of the world...it isn't however a healthy place to "live", if you choose to live there you will find nothing but empty longing...." I wish I would have"..."If only I"....."if only he"......"I wish..." I wish..."

I believe God has me where He has me for His purposes, I may never ever understand all the "why" on this side of heaven & that is ok. I haven't always felt that way, but lately more so. It really is ok. When I was first sick and we were waiting for my MRI results I was reading  read Psalm 16 and verse 6 jumped off at me it says "The lines have fallen for me in pleasant places; indeed, I have a beautiful inheritance". I believe that more than ever...God set the lines....He knew just how sick I would get & just how far I would recover. I was confident of my healing because of this verse. I knew no matter where I stopped in my healing process...it was very gradual....that the lines...or boundaries would be pleasant. They really are! So there are a few things I am clumsy at, walking, running, picking up small objects & a few others, but so what. I have read others stories of people who have had this virus & they are permanently disabled. Can no longer walk or use their arms and in constant pain....it could be much worse....while I long for the new body I will get in heaven....I will do my best to enjoy what I can do now!!!

Even if I have a bad day or two along the way I am confident of this "indeed, I have a beautiful inheritance."Psalm 16:6

Much Love

K~