26 years & a Lesson Learned!

Last week was our 26th wedding anniversary and I have been wanting to post something, but couldn't quite decide what I wanted to say...26 years is a long time and I could say a lot! but sometimes less really is more, and so despite my reputation I will try to keep this short & to the point!(haha!) Ok to the point!

Then!

A few times I have been asked, "how did you make it last?" While my off the cuff answer would be "a lot

of hard work", the real answer would be God. We would not have made it

had we not allowed Him to work in us! For we could never change each other, we all know that never works out!

And

While we can change ourselves on our own, it would have been temporary 

at best.

 I do remember days of just wondering when the end would come, 
feeling there was no hope. 

Then God placed a couple in our lives who could see we were struggling, without ever even asking, and they took us under their wing. 

Met with us, loved us, encouraged us & I know prayed for us.

How awesome is that?! 
While most people simply gave up on us from the very beginning. "They are to young" "What are they thinking", "It will never last", "To immature" "Don't know what they are getting into".....While all of that may have been true at the time, speaking those things over a couple is never really helpful.

However I do have to say that even though those comments hurt...I secretly am thankful for them, sometimes they are what caused me to dig my heels in, I simply refused to give anyone the reason to say "I told you so"!!! I'm a stinker like that!

I am forever thankful for one comment that got back to me that was positive. "I can see Tom and Karen growing stronger in the Lord together", just one comment relayed to me, that I tucked away in my heart and held fast to! On top of that this couple whom God placed in our lives, praying for us & pouring into us.

I will say that we didn't see the fruit of all that right away, God had 2 stubborn people on His hands! We had to walk a hard road (mostly by our own doing) But through it all He was with us, calling us to a better life!

Eventually we heard!

I did learn a valuable lesson in all of this. The next time you hear
of a couple whom is planning to get married, why not begin to pray for them...
right away. You see, even a couple who seems to "have it all", education, maturity, financial security....is just as  prone to a divorce as one who seems to have everything against them. We see it all the time. 
We were a couple, who by the worlds standards, had nothing....nothing that would put the odds for us, but every mark was against us.

But God...........

He placed just a few people & situations in our lives that changed them, for His glory!
So rather than judge, predict, condemn & gossip. Pray! There is a battle out there against marriages & it can only be won by prayer.

Looking back... I wouldn't change a thing. That is quite a statement considering how painful some of our marriage was. 
BUT I know that had we not gone through all that we did, our love would not be what it is now. So deep and rich! I cannot describe it in any other way than it's like having that old pair of jeans that you throw on at the end of a work day and just go *ahhhhhhh!* 
Ok I could describe it better, but I am trying to be brief here!

So comfortable is this love! We still have to work at it.....oh do we ever! We still hurt & misunderstand each other, but because where we have been, it is somehow easier to wade the waters of a fight. It is easier to admit when we are wrong & move on!
To know when there are just some things not worth fighting over. 
 And sometimes we can "fight" and both of us know we were both wrong & because

we know each other so well, we have just let it go, not having to go back & talk it all out, we can simply look

at each other & see what we need to see in each others eyes.

I also realize that had we given up, when things were hard, we would have missed all that we are living right now! Raising our 2 boys in a home where we both were present, it makes a difference you know!

And a life full of people whom we love so dearly & who love us (warts and all!)

We would have missed out on all that God had planned for us!

It was worth it. 

it was worth every minute. 

K~

Now!