Horrible Blogger

     When I first gave a thought to blogging I read up a bit on it, usually in the top 10 ways listed to have a successful blog, is to blog often...I'm not successful!
Life has just been to crazy to blog, I often feel guilty sitting here on the computer instead of doing let's say something like......oh I don't know, housework! Riding my bike...something, any thing productive!

   But I have managed to hit a few garage/thrift stores in the midst of my crazy life! I actually found this sweet little vintage necklace that matches the bracelet I posted on here a while ago! along with that find I found 2 vintage water colors with Victorian ladies that will find a spot for sure in my bubble-gum pink bathroom!! I love a good find!

     Along with those fun finds I have discovered some other not so fun things! when you turn 45, lot's of things change....and I mean LOTS! I have been just not feeling like myself, and the term midlife crisis that I scoffed at before is now beginning to "make sense" to me now! I have had moments of just feeling adrift, or irritated...impatient...and a few other things that are just not fun, nor are they normal for me. At first I think both Tom and I believed that all of this is related to the blasted virus that I contracted 2 years ago, it did some serious neurological damage and we noticed a few other things...but things seemed to be getting better, until recently, now things are "worse" my memory and mood being the 2 biggest things.
 I wondered if it was spiritual, and so begun to cling tighter and closer to God, when waking up for 4 or sometimes 5 times in the night rather than fret,sweat, and make mental notes of all I had to do. I began to pray...try to recall verses of comfort, I began purposing to spend more time alone with God, afternoons are great because I am alone, and so I can for really the first time just sit at His feet and listen...honestly I have felt closer to God than I have in a long time, it wasn't spiritual....so I just began to ask God...what is wrong...what is going on with me..why do I feel adrift, not empty..just sort of off kilter (not sure what that even means, but it fit how I felt!!!) 
And so as time has gone on, I began to recognise the signs for what they are perimenopause is what it's really called. I have every symptom...grrr...so of course I need to make an appt. and be sure that is in fact what I am facing. In the past I have had a handful of symptoms, fleeting, not consistent. But not now! so sorry if I have made you feel uncomfortable for sharing, perhaps I will change my blog name from "A little Sass, A little Trash" Sass,Trash & Hot Flash!!!!
Anyway, I am not going to run out and buy a new car, or leave Tom, or dye my hair purple!! I have a purpose! God has given me a heart for Youth Ministry, a heart for Women as well, and so I will continue to do as He has called me! I don't feel empty in that way!!!In fact I love what I am doing, where God has us, and am looking forward to seeing what He has down the road! But I need to ask/warn you my family and friends. Please be patient, my memory is absolutely fried...more so than ever and some of you know what it was like before...it's worse!!! When I am not acting like myself....just know...I'm not feeling like myself either! Don't let me get away with it....I welcome your love and encouragement to hang in there, to be nice....to watch the sass when I cross the line!
So I'm strapping on my seat belt and putting on my Armor (not in that order!) For whatever happens! Who knows! I do know this, yesterday and today I have felt like me!!!
Thank you Jesus for those days where I feel sane!!!(relatively speaking!!)
K~